I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
