I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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