I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
