If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
