im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
