I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
