Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
