K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
