I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
