Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
