so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
