I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
