id be glad to
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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