I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
