I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
