dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
