Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
