I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize