Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
