So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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