I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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