Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I need moral support for this bender
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
