Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
