I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
