I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
