We're like a lot better than the average bears
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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