I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
