Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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