that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize