is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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