then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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