dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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