This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
