i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
