so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
