did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
