Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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