I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
