People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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