I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
