I wish i was in the wii world.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
