One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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