I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
