NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
