You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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