i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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