yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
