It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
