it hurts more in the daytime
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
