You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize