Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
