I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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