Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
