So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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