whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
