You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
