I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
