Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
